Recent sources (that I will not mention ;-)) have led me to short story/poem writing. I.e. I am bored and supposed to be at SSLC, but let's gloss over that. So here goes...
There were once some gnus
Who loved to make shoes
They wore plastic aprons
And nothing rhymes with aprons.
They used all kinds of things
From leather to strings
So the children could play
In the garden all day
Hip hip hooray!
Everyone loved the gnus
But one day they all died.
The end.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
A Sad Little Story
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2 comments:
Wow Kylie! This is an awesome poem. It features (almost) all of my favourite things; gnus, shoes, aprons, again aprons, things, strings, and all that Jazz! And I really like the way that the mood shifts in the final stanza. The final stanza is definately darker in tone, just like in Dr. Doolittle.
However, I object to you calling this a story, because it has no plot. To qualify as a plot, actions need to have reactions. This is a character study; the characters under study being the gnus.
Also, I object to the poem on the basis that it does not feature spoons. Be sure in future to always include spoons in your poem.
I hope you find my constuctive criticisms useful.
Ah good, I'm glad you like my poem. Of course I was purposely including errors so that I could judge the perception skills of my readers by seeing if anyone could spot them - and you did, well done. Normally I include spoons in every piece of "art" writing (as I like to call it) but this time I didn't just to test you. Incidentally, please become an English teacher, it would amuse me :-)
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