Death by fictional villain

After reading my brother's Facebook page and considering the "5 people that would probably like to kill you" application thing, I had an idea for an interactive blog/note.

Of all the (let's say fictional) evil murderer/villain type people, if you had to make the decision, who would you choose to finish you off?

At first I thought Ming the Merciless, but now I'm going down the classic Knightmare goblins route. Their dance was highly dangerous, apparently.



Thickos!

I still find that goblin horn noise scary.

I punched a crab and I liked it

My eyes are a bit buzzy due to too much XBox-playing, and in particular Oblivion-playing - I am off work, after all :) - and I'm waiting for pizza to arrive, so I'll try not to write too much.

Above is an example of such a crab, just so you can see how big and strong I am. Virtual animal cruelty is fun. I have also recently killed some West Weald bears and some goblin skirmishers, which is always nice.

Things are looking up on the job front. We've both had a couple of calls from agencies in Leicester who seem quite confident that they can find us something soon if we just drop in, which we will be doing next Friday when we're in Leicester. All I have to do is a few typing tests, provide references and show my hideous passport photo. Thank god my passport expires next year...

We've decided to take advantage of time off work and go to Alton Towers next Wednesday. If anyone fancies coming with us, I have 4 buy-one-get-one-free vouchers cluttering up my purse which I'm willing to get rid of. There are already a few of us going but we should definitely have some vouchers spare so let me or Chris know if you're interested.

Pizza time!

Nom.

Newnesses

Greetings.

Hello.

How are you?

I am fine.

Ignore the last thing about Tumblr. I've changed my mind.

I have 5 working days left at work, which is most thrilling. Perhaps this means I will no longer accidentally answer my mobile with the word "Orthopaedics" instead of the usual, normal "Hello?". That will definitely be a good thing.

Over the next 5/6 weeks, we will be moving to Leicesterland for a fresh start. The following advantages will be had:

1. Walking-to-work/walking-to-town opportunities, involving distances long enough for an increase in healthiness but not long enough to induce collapsing-ness.
2. Free swimming/badminton opportunities (good old leisure-centre-receptionist-mother).
   
3. House-ness, rather than flat-ness, allowing possible cat-ness (and barbecue-ness, but not of cats).
4. Opportunities for clarinet-tootling.
5. Opportunities for film-networking for Mr Kylie.
6. Funky bar/club-ness - no need to settle for chav-infested areas. Big need to settle for lovely lovely cocktails.
   
7. DOMINOS TOY SHOP!!!
8. Going-back-to-uni-ness allowing me to actually do something with my life and degree.
9. Family-ness.
10. Odeon-down-the-road-ness.
11. Escape from the daily horrors of dunce-infested areas like Dudley town centre.
12. Summer Sundae/Leicester Comedy Festival etc.

All of the above, plus easy access to transport back over here to see family and friends regularly for fun and frolicking.

Everyone must visit us.

Maybe one day I'll actually go through with that Murder Mystery party...

A new blog???!?!?!!!?!?!

If you fancy having a look, I will be using a Tumblr blog from now on. It will be here and on Facebook.

I'm not sure whether this is a temporary thing or forever and ever and ever and ever. Blogger is a bit rubbish sometimes, isn't it? But then it has its advantages.

Who knows what will happen? What a metaphor for life this is.

See you soon I hope! x

Bloody hell!

Have I really not posted since April?!!!

I keep doing these "blinkin eck I haven't posted for ages" posts. I think my blogging is a bit like casual alcoholism, in that I lapse every once in a while and post for a few days in a row solidly, then abstain for a number of weeks. Except blogging isn't bad, it's good, so I should blog more, but I don't.

Well.

I am a little bit tipsy, but luckily when I'm tipsy/drunk I manage not to do that thing that some people do and type with loads of spelling/grammatical mistakes in their posts or messages.

UNLESS I am making loads of mistakes and don't know about it due to the alcomohol.

Since I last posted, months ago, I have done lots. I have turned 24 and been to Liverpool with Christophe to celebrate this (we went to the Cavern and it was muchos buenos:)

The Cavern (as in the Beatles' gig place), Liver-o-pool

We also saw lots of Lambananas, which are sculptures of lambs with banana-like tails distributed throughout the city as part of Liverpool's year as the city of culture:

Beatles Lambanana

We both really liked Liverpool. We will be going back soon.

Also, we've been to the Latitude festival in Suffolk. There were bands by lakes and in the woods and sheep spray-painted pink and it was generally awesome. But that's another blog post in itself. Everyone should go there if they get the chance.

I will go now. I need my sleep before a well-overdue Hilmi/Dom Wing Wah trip tomorrow.

Good morrow! x

Toothy toothy teg teg

Today I went to the dentist for the first time in about 10 years. Now I'm sure that everyone in the world has been enthusiastically keeping up with my dental ponderings for the past few months. However, to recap, please see Fig. 1:

Fig. 1: Holey pain and turny pain.

Holey pain and turny pain both arrived at roughly the same time. This was about a year ago. Yes, I am that bad at going to the dentist.

Holey pain is a hole - or cavity, if you will - which I was first convinced was a seed stuck in my tooth, and which later became more holey and less seedy (so to speak) and has, in the past few months, started to hurt a lot when I eat crusty baguettes, apples and other foods that feature on denture-sticking gel adverts.

Turny pain is a wisdom tooth that started to hurt during chocolate-eating sessions. And I do have sessions. Especially with Lindor. I later discovered that turny-pain-tooth was in fact angled about 45 degrees towards the front of my mouth, which I suspected was not good.

So I went to the dentist, fully expecting at least a filling and a scary tooth extraction. I am a wimp and go a bit hysterical at the thought of a paper cut, never mind a bone being pulled out of my body.

To my delight, Mr Dentiste said I would not need an extraction! Just a filling, he said. He offered to do it there and then but I stopped him right in his tracks. "I'm not having that, Mr Dentiste,"I said-ish. Instead it will be done in a couple of weeks.

But HURRAH!

THERE WILL BE NO PULLING OUT OF TEETH!

CANCEL THE DANCING MARMOSETS!

HURRAY!!!

Blongchok

Why am I tired when I've just had two cans of Red Bull? I'm hoping they won't kick in just as I want to go to bed.

We were out last night at Walkabout down the road in Wolver-o-hampton city centre and I had some fake Red Bull before I went out, plus several servings of Coca Cola when I was out. I woke up an hour before my alarm was due to go off this morning and I could feel my heart beating faster than usual. At least I was relatively awake for work. Bloody work. I don't like my job at the moment. It is in Dudley after all. Nobody go to Dudley. You will be hassled by chavs and people playing shit music on mobile phones and old lady chavs who smell of wee.

All the caffeine woke me up in the middle of a very strange dream though. Someone gave me some new "bee" bubble bath, containing bees, which was meant to be invigorating due to fake stings. It wasn't supposed to hurt, but when I got into the bath I kept being stung on the left knee. The bastards had tricked me! It sleep-hurt lots. I'm thinking maybe my left knee was being eaten up by a real-life insect and this made me dream of bees.

I was stung by a wasp once in P.E. and it hurt many and lots. It was completely unprovoked. Wasps are the skinheads of the insect world.


What the hell am I writing about?!

I just felt like doing a blog. I will go now. Buzzzzzzz and that.