Toothy toothy teg teg

Today I went to the dentist for the first time in about 10 years. Now I'm sure that everyone in the world has been enthusiastically keeping up with my dental ponderings for the past few months. However, to recap, please see Fig. 1:

Fig. 1: Holey pain and turny pain.

Holey pain and turny pain both arrived at roughly the same time. This was about a year ago. Yes, I am that bad at going to the dentist.

Holey pain is a hole - or cavity, if you will - which I was first convinced was a seed stuck in my tooth, and which later became more holey and less seedy (so to speak) and has, in the past few months, started to hurt a lot when I eat crusty baguettes, apples and other foods that feature on denture-sticking gel adverts.

Turny pain is a wisdom tooth that started to hurt during chocolate-eating sessions. And I do have sessions. Especially with Lindor. I later discovered that turny-pain-tooth was in fact angled about 45 degrees towards the front of my mouth, which I suspected was not good.

So I went to the dentist, fully expecting at least a filling and a scary tooth extraction. I am a wimp and go a bit hysterical at the thought of a paper cut, never mind a bone being pulled out of my body.

To my delight, Mr Dentiste said I would not need an extraction! Just a filling, he said. He offered to do it there and then but I stopped him right in his tracks. "I'm not having that, Mr Dentiste,"I said-ish. Instead it will be done in a couple of weeks.

But HURRAH!

THERE WILL BE NO PULLING OUT OF TEETH!

CANCEL THE DANCING MARMOSETS!

HURRAY!!!

Blongchok

Why am I tired when I've just had two cans of Red Bull? I'm hoping they won't kick in just as I want to go to bed.

We were out last night at Walkabout down the road in Wolver-o-hampton city centre and I had some fake Red Bull before I went out, plus several servings of Coca Cola when I was out. I woke up an hour before my alarm was due to go off this morning and I could feel my heart beating faster than usual. At least I was relatively awake for work. Bloody work. I don't like my job at the moment. It is in Dudley after all. Nobody go to Dudley. You will be hassled by chavs and people playing shit music on mobile phones and old lady chavs who smell of wee.

All the caffeine woke me up in the middle of a very strange dream though. Someone gave me some new "bee" bubble bath, containing bees, which was meant to be invigorating due to fake stings. It wasn't supposed to hurt, but when I got into the bath I kept being stung on the left knee. The bastards had tricked me! It sleep-hurt lots. I'm thinking maybe my left knee was being eaten up by a real-life insect and this made me dream of bees.

I was stung by a wasp once in P.E. and it hurt many and lots. It was completely unprovoked. Wasps are the skinheads of the insect world.


What the hell am I writing about?!

I just felt like doing a blog. I will go now. Buzzzzzzz and that.