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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

New career move

Having been "unsuccessful" in my application to start a Warwick PGCE next year, I am reconsidering my career options. This is a whole new exciting opportunity for me, so I am thinking very carefully about a wide range of potential jobs. Here are a few of my ideas so far:

1. Badger Catcher
...yes, the face markings of DEATH ITSELF



2. Toad's Hat Manufacturer (what a fantastic hat)
Would you just look at that hat?! I am sure it is meant to represent a white spotty testicle.



3. Santa Claus

(Insert picture of Nick Mann here).


4. Pat (Rosie and Jim's barge driver)
Purest evil



5. Mr Sandman
Lots of wavy hair on Liberace



6. Handlebar Moustache Groomer
My latest client



7. Panda
Cecil



8. Sycamore Seed
Jim



9. Kazooist
This man is apparently called Kazoo. Or something. Anyway he may not be a kazoo but I like him. He is well colour-coordinated and has a fantastic hat, although not quite as fantastic as Toad's. I bet his real name is Paulo.



10. Poncho Saleswoman
Ponchos are quite the in-thing nowadays, and you can see why. However this miserable bitch hates ponchos and so I infected him/her/it with Clostridium botulinum while its mother wasn't watching. May that be a lesson to poncho-haters everywhere.




The above options prove that the world is very much my oyster. So all is well.

4 comments:

polynomialpal said...

You should definately go for option 6, Kylie. Just think how many pretty straight men you'd meet.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I was the original Rosie and Jim's Barge Driver. I could drive all over Pat anyday. Why would you want to be her and not me?

Anonymous said...

Ho Ho Ho! I'm afraid that there are no openings currently for my position. However, there is always an opening for you here in lapland, in my Executive-Golf-Products factory.

Anonymous said...

Hello Miss Posnett,

I am a first-time poster, but a regular reader of your blog. You are quite a cult figure among us Panda Bears. We share your badger-related woes and sympathise with many other aspects of your life.

I am very pleased that you are considering a career in being a Panda, and will be sending you some paraphernalia on the matter, plus details of national unions and scholorship opportunities.