BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Monday, February 12, 2007

Ooooooooooh Chimpanzee that! Monkey News

And here are the headlines: -

*BONG*

I HAVE NO JOB
I didn't lose my job at BT, but I jolly well gave it up! I started last Thursday with several other nice-and-jobworthy-but-somehow-out-of-work people, all from different agencies. Many people have told me things about BT, mainly not good (hello David), but I thought I'd give them a chance. Kat seems to be doing well after all. Also it gave me the opportunity to get away from my old job. I really should have known better.

- Within an hour of us being there, we were hurried off into a tiny round-sofa-ed kitchen area in the middle of the office to be "welcomed" into the company and told of BT's rules. And that by Monday at the latest we would be "on the phones bringing money in!" Oh the joy!

- There will be no eating of any food at your desk, except boiled sweets. It looks "unprofessional" and apparently, when you do so, food becomes lodged in your throat thus preventing any further answering of calls throughout the day. This rule used to be limited to hot food only but a couple of months ago some member of senior management decided the working environment wasn't strict enough. Anyone found to be eating at their desk will be taken to the Naughty Room and cautioned by their plebby team leader.

- There will be no breaks during the day except for a half-hour lunch break. This excludes toilet breaks (oh BT, with these toilet breaks you are really spoiling us).

- There will be no personal internet usage, unless you come to work half an hour early or you luuurve the company and like to stay in the office during above mentioned lunch break.

- Mobile phones must be switched off at all times. Silent mode is not an option. Employees of BT must be aware that during office hours they are dead to the world. No outside phone call is too important.

- No staff will be given permanent contracts (except senior management) - one employee has been temping for 10 years. Secular-God help him.

Etc etc blah blah blah. All during our first day. Me and three others spent most of the day in a meeting room known as "The Freezer" (we had to wear coats) being trained on the database and accounting systems we were to be using. One of the team leaders led the presentation ("do you all know how to use a mouse?"/"some people don't like the rules, but you have to obey"). He kindly gave us two extra 10-minute breaks in which we went to the canteen to chat about each of our various escape routes. One of the guys in our group was a partly-trained accountant with a Biomedical Sciences degree, and I spent a lot of time chatting to a lady who had recently set up a vintage boutique, but needed a job to tie her over while it got off its feet. Both clever people, both patronised for the entirety of the day by some "I'm bloody great and you will respect me" Gareth-from-The-Office type. I really hope they're not still there by the end of the week.

Anyway yes, by the end of the day I was actually laughing at the crap that was spouting from "Gareth"'s mouth. I decided I wasn't going back tomorrow and sent an email to that effect to the agency guy who had given me a job, thanking him for the opportunity nevertheless.

I went for a job interview with Dudley Council on Friday. I was supposed to have gone to see them on Thursday but for obvious reasons couldn't. It went very well and the people seemed very nice. They have three vacancies scattered around the region and I said I didn't have any preference, so I suspect they're trying to find people to fill all three posts before they get back to me. I hope I get the job.


*BONG*

I MIGHT COME BACK TO WARWICK FOR LUNCH THIS WEEK
as I have no job and need to spend some time packing my room before I move out proper on Saturday. I miss South Central and the Union and of course everyone. Shall we go up to the Grad? :)

If any of you want to go shopping in Brum or for lunch or something this week let me know. Go on, twill be fun. Spoon.


*BONG*

I HAVE A COLD
Atchoo.


*BONG*

I JUST PUT JINX OUT
and she came straight back in and did a poo in the litter tray.


*BONG*

I MIGHT GO TO MERRY HILL TODAY
Despite having no money, it will pass the time away. Maybe I will buy a penny sweet.


*BONG*

NO LEAVING DO TILL I HAVE MORE MONEY
I promise I'll come back to Coventrar soon for some kind of leaving drinky thing. For now I have £30 in the world so I can't afford it.


*BONG*

I HAVE AN ITCY NECK
My neck is itchy and I'm off to scratch it.


That was the news *shuffles papers*

MUSIC: *Doooooooooo do do doooooooooo* BONG BONG BONG

1 comments:

Maja said...

Hello Kylie, good thing you quit that BT job it sounded rubbish! I'm at work right now taking advantage of their free internet while I have nothing urgent to do. Everyone should be able to do that!
I like your blog, you're very funny! No wonder Christopher is so in love :)
PS. I somehow managed to incorrectly type in the four letter word verification.. it was so easy, how could I get it wrong?? Now I have to do an eight letter one. Boo.